BAKER'S DOZEN--2/13/05

WHAT'S THE WORST THING ABOUT VALENTINE'S DAY?


Hard to read City of Towers when the S.O. keeps trying to make kissy face.

"You're My One and Only" valentines in packs of twelve.

A guy in a bear suit dancing at the corner of Alameda and Federal selling roses.  No, wait.  That was the BEST thing about Valentine's Day.

I never found out who sent me a bouquet of white roses one year when I was in college, nor whether there was any significance in them being white instead of red.

It marks the first Baker's Dozen since the new year.  What's up with THAT?

Are you kidding me?  This is the blackest, most terrible Valentines Day now that Jen and Brad are split up.  I thought last year was bad because of Ben and J-Lo...  What could possibly come next year?  Prince Charles and Camilla?!?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Memories of breaking up with my first boyfriend while wearing a Chuck E. Cheese shirt.

For me, it's the whole martyrdom thing.  What?  Why, yes, I AM Saint Valentine.

Corny Valentine's Day themes really take the edge off internet porn.

You mean besides the part about being f***ing alone and some dumb-ass Baker's Dozen question rubbing my face in it? Well, then I'm going with there being no eggnog. Definitely need eggnog.

Contrary to the popular representation, they don't really let you run around in a diaper and shoot people with arrows.  Maybe if I wore a tie......

Valentine's Day = VD. 'Nuff said.

Huh?  This is a QUESTION OF THE TOMORROW! that will be completely obsolete by the time it's reposted with answers.  Why not call the spade a spade: "WHAT'S THE WORST THING ABOUT MEMORIAL DAY?"  And dude, nothing's wrong with Memorial Day.  It's a pointless question.

CSI guys would get to the bottom of that massacre before the first commercial break.

Only thing worse than being only on Valentine's Day is the pressure of living up to commercial expectations to create a romantic spectacle for your significant other.

Not workin' it, just workin'.

All the damn Olsen Twins.

Gettin' massacred.

Not bein' retarded.  Wait--I screwed that up...

I don't know.  What *is* the worst thing about Valentine's Day?
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...hello?  You were in the middle of telling a joke and then...?

Not enough Rudolph Valentino.

That the 75% off candy sales don't start until tomorrow.

Valentine cards. Trite and obnoxious. I want the Bun Bun valentine card.

Pink. Pink and red. Pink and red and LAVENDER.

Why is it that the 'most romantic day' always falls when I'm least inclined to be romantic?

You can't get a restaurant reservation for love or money.

Having no girlfriend and having your weekly Monday game cancelled due to "lovey-dovey duties"!


* And Joe Zemek cuts to the heart of the matter...*

Who are you, and why am I getting your email?
 

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