BAKER'S DOZEN--4/6/05

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST SIN IN - OR OF - SIN CITY?

Worst Prostitute to Fallen Anti-Hero ratio ever!

I still remember the good old days when it was called 'SINCERITY', but I guess NBC's lawyers scared the 'ER' right out of them and made them at least 22% less sincere...

Homicidal slot machines are free to roam the streets.

NINJA prostitutes? Oh, come on. We all know that when it comes to prostitution, it's pirates all the way.

Not enough Elijah Wood in the movie.  But then, he was lucky to be cast in the movie at all.  It's been tough getting roles when your ring finger's been chomped off.

Under the circumstances, I think the scene of Marv murdering the Pope was in poor taste.

It's bad enough that little Lorelei Gilmore has become a prostitute, but I simply refuse to accept Sue Storm as an exotic dancer. "The Invisible Stripper?" What's the point?

Godzilla. Oh, wait, you said the biggest siN in siN City, not siM...

Marv? Worst Elvis impersonator EVER!

Showing a shocked audience that adorable cartoon pioneer the Yellow Kid grew up to be not just Racist - but actually a Rapist! What's next? Insinuating that that adorable little Michael Jackson grew up to be a pedophile?

It revealed the identity of the guy who put the bomp in the bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp. Hopefully our rama-lama-ding-dong is still safe.

It's simply criminal to depict such a complex range of moral issues as being so black and white.

Jessica Alba really should have gotten naked. Sorry, but that's the truth. Have you READ the comics???

Girl Scout cookies. REAL Girl Scout cookies. We're not even going to talk about the Brownies.

Simply not enough prostitutes! I read that prostitutes made up at least 60% of the film, but I think the real figure was closer to 53%.

Sin City? Looked like Skin City to me. Yowza!

The Yellow Bastard character was intended to be a 'Cowardly Therapist'. But Hollywood just can't seem to parse a simple description these days...

Godiva chocolates. Mmm. Sinful.

All the sticky seats in that Theater.
Oh.  Or do you mean the R rated film that just came out?

Poorly enforced dress code.

They no longer shape the melon balls in the fruit cocktails to look like Wayne Newton at any of the Steve Wynn casinos.

It's a sin how low our prices are at Crazy Leroy's House of Discount Poisonous Snakes!

The biggest sin of sin city? Easy! They have this "fun" game called "Shoot the Bossy Cow" I just shudder to think of it.

That would be the BaSIN that Sin City is built into.

Unlike in Sim City, I'm not the mayor.  Ain't that a sin?

I seem to recall something about Jessica Alba's character being a stripper. And not just of old furniture...

When Hartigan hotwires the Popemobile.

Ya just can't get a quality hand-job at the convents no more.

Not giving Elijah Woods lines to speak. Oh, wait.That's a GOOD thing.

Double parking.

Cabbage and beans.

The worship of Cthulhu would rank pretty high, except that it would be sinful to NOT worship the center of your religion.

Flicking your sister in the head.

As one who is living backwards in Time, Merlin told me that the original movie is much better than the comic book based on it.  He also told me that the People of Dimension X are coming in disguise as English Muffins......

Spandex on bodies obviously unsuited to such a fabric.

Not enough professional Jackie Vernon Impersonators.

The quality of paper in Frank Miller's graphic novel makes a poor substitute for toilet tissue.

Wait a minute.  Are we talkin' Las Vegas?  Or the comic book?  Or the movie based on the comic book?It's questions like these that make me want to put a pancake on my head and dribble into Timmy Miller's pudding cup!
 

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