BAKER'S DOZEN--6/20/05

WHAT'S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE IN "BATMAN BEGINS"?

The Scarecrow's fear-inducing chemical is made out of people! IT'S PEOPLE!

With the use of Prozac®, Bruce Wayne went on to live a happy and productive life. Talk to your doctor and find out if Prozac® is right for *you*.

I just assumed that Martin Lawrence would reprise his role as the "black knight".

I was impressed with Catherine Zeta-Jones' performance as Falcone's wife. When he goes to prison, and she takes over and explains how the whole drugs-in-the-bunnies trick works… goosebumps, I tell you.

Lucius Fox never once gets involved in a conversation with somebody from The Electric Company.  "Bat."  "Man."  "Batman."

OK, let me get this straight. Bruce Wayne is the crime-fighting vigilante Batman, yet he poses as a vapid socialite who goes around buying hotels and engaging in scandalous behavior. So… is there something we should know about Paris Hilton?

According to the recently declassified "Batcave Communique", President Bush was planning to send the Justice League against Ra's Al Ghul all along.

As Bruce Wayne tries to win the love of Katie Holmes, he must face Batman's greatest foe: the twisted sociopath known only as "The Scientologist!"

The weird cliffhanger ending. "Same Bat-time, same Bat-theater"? What's with that?

The Batmobile was cool, but I thought the whole bit where Bruce was demanding that tech expert Lucius Fox "pimp his ride" was a little over the top.

Batman beats Ra's Al Ghul with Hostess Fruit Pies? I don't get it.

The bat signal is subject to roaming charges.

"Rosebud" was his massively-armored all-terrain-vehicle.

See, the bats in the dream prove that Bruce Wayne is a replicant!

Batman's cowls are made in China. No, really.

When Bruce Wayne forgoes the life of the vigilante to follow in his father's footsteps, becoming a doctor. Look for him in the next season of ER! Viewers are already anticipating the first use of that classic line, "Kidney stone sufferers are a cowardly, superstitious lot."

It's clear who should have been running Wayne Enterprises. After all, "Uncle" Alfred Pennyworth has hotels on Boardwalk AND Park Place!

Our theater just showed "Die Hard", and dubbed "Wayne" over "Willis". "Yipee-ki-yai, Ra's Al Ghul!"

All the "Dilbert" cartoons adorning the walls of Wayne Enterprises.

It was enough of a surprise that Bruce was in a Chinese prison camp for years. But to find out that he'd been… concealing… his father's watch the whole time? Ugh!

When Batman's utility belt was revealed to be filled with Skittles and those little airplane packets of peanuts.

That they really, really thought we wouldn't notice that the League of Assassins got its name changed to the League of Shadows. Let's hear it for making radical environmentalists look nice.

The villains didn't steal the show, and the only dance number was all ninja camoflage, although he was a little batty during that dance, now, wasn't he?

That he didn't make out with the female love interest. Shocking, isn't it?

I'm waiting for the sequel, "Which Came First, Robin or the Egg?"

That two-faced Katie Holmes.

The sequence of BIF! POW! SOCK! bubbles encodes a secret message. I hope you got the box of Cheerios with the Batdecoder in it!

Blue skies in Gotham?

I don't know about you, but I was surprised by the My Little Ponies.

Luke Skywalker is Batman's father.

How slutty Katie Holmes' character was - "I've got your Batcave right here....."

They turned down David Boreanz!?!

Batman began... by singing show tunes!

It's actually good.

Gojira!!!

I was hoping the movie would reveal Bruce Wayne as Deep Throat, but that surprise was ruined.

The power behind Batman is the maid who cleans all the guano from the Batcave.

That Ra's al Ghul decided on a different goatee style

Out with the old two seater batmobile and in with the new Supercharged Ultraindestructible BatTank of DEATH.

That the Tumbler he was interested in couldn't be found in any of the DC Batman Files as a super-villain...and I don't think it was the Marvel version.

Biggest Surpise of all: Batman didn't get the girl!

While they've got a ways to go, they actually presented the idea that Batman has a brain.  Maybe they will be able to show he's the World's Greatest Detective in sequels.

The Spiderman underoos was a poor costuming choice.

To avoid convulsing audience members the director thankfully did not include shots with Kilmer and Clooney.

When he was a kid, Bruce Wayne was in a Japanese prison camp!

Just how much smarter Lucius Fox is in the movie then in the books...corporate executive AND science/engineering whiz.

Liam Neeson's organization is a front for Scientology!

How carefree the Batman seems to be with his secret identity.  An Assistant DA knows it, Fox knows it, Ra'as knows it before the training even starts...amazing.

Alfred Pennyworth's daughter is a witch!

Bruce Wayne finds a god-sized mound of intelligent cheese that grants him the power of flight and laser bomb creation, but promptly and unexpectedly takes both powers away.
 

Click here to see the archives of past questions!