WHAT'S THE SURPRISE HIT OF THE FALL TV LINE-UP?

HBO kicks off a drama chock-full of sex, violence, and betrayal with its new series "Rove." What? "Rome?" Oh.

I'll go out on a limb and predict that millions of people will watch this show called "Football," despite its Sunday morning timeslot.

Though "Touched By an Uncle," "CSI: Boise" and "Everyone Tolerates Raymond" seemed like pretty lame choices, the pathos and characterization turned out surprisingly well.

"La Femme Nikita" - the action series about ruthless government assassins - makes a surprise come back on Pat Robertson's Christian network.

"Jurassic Pork" - extreme cooking action as die-hard chefs hunt, kill, and cook the most dangerous creatures ever to walk the earth!

Pamela Anderson stars as a ditzy socialite-turned-architect in the madcap comedy "Built". What's that? Make her a bookstore clerk and call it "Stacked"? Yeah, right, like anyone would buy that. 

CSI: Survivor - The stars of the hit show "Survivor" are turning up dead, it's up to Richard Hatch and his crack team of investigators to solve the cases....if they can get him to put clothes on...

A very special episode of Blossom in which Blossom spends the entire episode watching a very special episode of Blossom. It'll blow your mind, baby!

Fiends - this sitcom features the adventures of 6 friends who were killed by an angry monkey named Marcel and cohabit a sweaty little apartment in the Hell's Kitchen area of Hell.

Fox News continues to gain ratings even after changing its slogan to "Biased and Unbalanced: Deal With It."

The official sequel to LOST will air on FOX at 9pm on Wednesdays. It will be called FOUND.

Join your favorite host, Gary Coleman, as defunct celebrities compete with professional ballroom dancers for control of Zimbabwe in an underwater enclosure filled with centipedes, cockroaches and hot supermodels from Sweden.  Watch in surprise as each week a new contestant is 'fired' from the enclosure by torpedo, never to be seen again.  Only one will survive, so tune in and watch the hilarity this season on Fox!

Fox gives up and finally just airs porn 24x7.

"Firefly." Because, really, it's surprising how popular a cancelled TV show can get.

Tommy Lee Goes to Morgrave University

"The Brothers Kolchak" - Actually it's "Supernatural", but let's face it!  These guys are Carl's grand-kids!

Playing it safe, the networks continue with the 55th season of "Girl Pretty".

Rove American Style

The Apprentice - Who will win the title of 'Sorcerer Supreme'? Will it be that hunky Baron Mordo? Margali of the Winding Road? Crippled Doctor Stephen Strange? Or unspeakable exchange student Umar?

A reality series about 6 people trying to come up with a reality series.

Law & Order - Hogwarts

"Now I Have Your Cat."

Punk'd Brewster

The sitcom on the Comeback actually airs as a sitcom... cause, you know... that blond chick is hot.

Sci-Fi reality series: Klingons at Conventions: Outlast, Outsmell, Yell A Lot

The Banana Splits - Fleagle's Revenge! NO ONE saw this show coming back...

Everybody Loves Alf

Survivor: Contagious Diseases

America's NEXT Top Undertaker

Everybody Loves W!

Joey completely retooled to be a comedy.

Nanny No-Pants

When Animals Attack Christian Martyrs

Hawaii-Five- Oh-No!

Extreme Makeover: Criminal Edition

Who wants to bang a Hilton?

The Simpsons is still around.

On the new series, "Dora: The College Years", Dora loses her virginity in a very special episode: "Dora Gets Explored"

From the CBS promo department: "Things are looking up when 'Threshold' star Peter Dinklage hosts the Victoria's Secret Christmas Special on CBS!"

The Sleeper Hit for the fall line up will be... DESPERATE FANBOYS! It will have steamy lockerrooms, hot female football players who clearly never played football in their lives, Oversized Mallets, and it has nothing to do with that pathetic "Desperate Housewives" thingy...