HOW IS BUSH GOING TO GET THE MONEY?

Vegas, Baby. Vegas.

Tonight on Fox's The Bush Family: The twins (Barb and Jenna) throw a wild sorority kegger to raise money for their cash-strapped dad, but who invited Teddy Kennedy!?!  Hijinks ensue!

Silly reporter, he's not "raising taxes," he's just "decreasing net income."

Bush Twins? Bikini Car Wash? Need I say more?

Urge America's youth to sell 'GRIT' door to door.

Sell raffle tickets for the chance to be the next Supreme Court Justice.

He'll, uh, "forage" for it in a local bank. That's "forage", not "loot."

Selling oceanfront property in downtown New Orleans.

Do you know how much upkeep he must be paying to keep that old Cheney running? Those things cost a fortune!

A federal bake sale, of course! I bet Brownie'd do a heck of a job managing a project like that.

Invade North Korea... hey, it's just trickle-down Reaganomics with more tanks involved.

By going undercover at a strip club. But will she give in to her dark desires? What? Oh, sorry, I thought this was "How Will Shannon Tweed Get the Bad Guys?" 

"DEAR SIR: I AM GEORGE W BUSH, TOP OFFICAL OF UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. WE ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA…"

Brilliantly using the chaos in New Orleans for distraction, Brownie is doing a heckuva job digging for Blackbeard's Lost Treasure in the middle of Bourbon Street...

He should just talk to that nice Mr. Delay and Dr. Frist. They seem to know a thing or two about raising money.

Why, with all that Oil from Iraq silly. After a mere three months of occupation, that place is gonna be a goldmine!

He'll show it to you for a nickel.  You can touch it for a quarter.

There's been a series of strange hold-ups by two felons wearing uncanny masks of Presidents named Bush lately...

He'll borrow it from the Army Corps of Engineers... they don't need all they have.

Nuclear Lemonade Stand!

Round up all the displaced men and women left homeless in New Orleans and ship them all to Iraq to cut down costs on both fronts.  Besides, it helps clear out Barbara Bush's lovely state of Texas of those scary freeloaders.

He'll just mint more - Look what it did for the Weimar Republik!

He's been hiding it under the mattress for just such an occasion.

There are few problems that can't be solved by a very special episode of Blossom.

Thanks to a suggestion from Bill Bennett, the White House will begin marketing a new "power drink" - Baby's blood mixed with powdered rhino horn.  High mark-up and quite addictive.  Rove already has cornered the market and intends to begin shipping on Columbus Day.  National debt will be erased with days!

Well, selling his soul can only work once, and that was the campaign against Gore.

Sell Kevlar jackets to the infantry in Iraq.

I'm sorry, but you've obviously misheard the president. What he said was, he's determined not to raise Texas. Other states, however, are gonna get taxed like crazy. Plan B is to rob his coke supplier and stop letting his daughters give out sexual favours for free.

By selling jingoistic, magnetic, bumper-sticker ribbons reading "I support our President in his fiscal nightmare and military quagmire!"

I imagine people would pay good money for a seat on the Supreme Court…

Sell cocaine...oh wait...he's already done that....

Deficit Spending.

I hear he got money trees growin on his ranch

One word - Americathon   
(Look it up on the IMDB you young whippersnappers)

Hey man, don't be a buzzkill - that's for the next guy to worry about.

Well I invested a lot of it in Coke in the 80s, and with that kind of investment I exp... what? You mean that was a one-time gift to the, um... dealers?

Well Daddy and Rummy gave some big money to Saddam. Maybe Uncle Saddam will give me a loan?

By suing Kanye West for 200 billion dollars, stating that the Grammy award winning rapper was libelous in his assertion that he didn't like black people, when it's actually poor black people he doesn't like.

Condi has a tanker! Rush has some performance-enhancing drugs! Ol' Mister Frist has some insider-trading money! Karl has some more leaked secrets! Brownie's doing a heckuva job! And the Big Dick has undisclosed locations out the yinyang...
Bush and Rummy are gonna put on a show! Yippee!