Question of the Week 01/29/03:

In the wake of the State of the Union address, we want to know:

WHAT WILL BE THE BIGGEST NEWS STORY OF 2003?


Dick Cheney admits to being unaware of his own location.

Y2K Bug Late, Apologizes, and Cripples Western Civilization Anyway

War against Iraq revealed to have been the brainchild of a shadowy cabal of evil men lurking at the very heart of our government… specifically, the producers of "Survivor", who were trying to set the stage for "Survivor: Iraq War."

The initial invasion force copies down the wrong address and invades Iowa.  Hilarity ensues.

Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the wrench.

Civil war erupts in the United States as the forces of the Union battle "The Texas of Evil."

Teen Boy Bitten by Mutant Spider; Dies.

The government is thrown into a panic when it is revealed that North Korea possesses pretzel-making facilities.

FLASH! Saddam Hussein: "Dubya's having my baby!"

Keith Baker's winning design for the new World Trade Center.

The LORD smites all viewers of American Idol. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me," says the angered deity.

Fine Line Between Beer Ad and 'Girls Gone Wild' Video Even Further Blurred

Shuttle Crash Scene Cut from 'The Core'; Nation Had Planned to Avoid 'The Core' Anyway

Terrorists make a second attempt to assassinate George W. Bush - this time using new, crunchier Doritos™.

The Oxford English Dictionary decides "new-cue-ler" is the correct
pronunciation of the word Nuclear.

Britney Spears spearheads Iraq Invasion; "Whoops, I did it again," says militant pop idol.

I just hope there is someone left to write/read it.

Hasn't it already happened?  Have you so soon forgotten the death of Oolong the pancake balancing bunny, you heartless bastards????

Invading American troops in Iraq find palace made entirely of anthrax spores.

The Great Lakes are on fire! Even I know that ain't good.

The Gevalia mail-order coffee business is a front for the Raelians.  They are using the highly-addictive brew to control the minds of millions, sapping their wills and forcing them to send all their money to the cult in order to further their research in cloning.

The outcome of the Super Bowl was predetermined in an animal research lab in San Diego, by compulsive gambler chimpanzees whose brains were wired into a super-computer.

Robert Blake will discover that his ordeal these last few years has all been part of a reality TV show created by his "Lost Highway" director, David Lynch.  (His wife is still dead though - she had to be killed in order to establish the show's veracity.)

In an effort to forestall any potential lawsuits, Yale University rescinds the conferred degree for George W. Bush.

USA Beaten to Saddam by Pack of Wild Boars

Keith Baker wins WotC contest, holds massive kegger!
 
Keith Baker loses WotC contest, commences 10 state shootin' spree!

I will buy new shoes that won't pinch my little toes!  It's a story that will get a 30 point spread for the headline above the fold of the Times!

Naomi Finds Love AND a Job In Boulder!! What could be bigger?

Clint Eastwood admits he's really only 3 foot seven.  Credits his appearance to super-wedgies.

The reason behind the harrassment of PeeWee Herman becomes clear when it's discovered that among his images of classic pornography are grainy photos of a young Barbara Bush, in a playful "romp" with Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

Nation Takes Red Pill; Reloads, Revolts

WotC's 10 Year Anniversary Bash for Magic: The Gathering a Drunken, Seattle Trashin' Debauch-O-Rama Despite Ugly New Cardface, Cuz WotC Pah-Taaays

Yankees Continue Sucking Ways (source: www.yankees-suck.com)


*In the "Sad but True" category…*

02/01/03 - Well, we certainly got a qualifier today, unfortunately......


*And in a self-professed attempt to get suck-up credit, the lovely and talented Katerina Dutton…*

KEITH BAKER WINS SETTING SERCH
Contest sponsered by Wizards of the Coast and
D+D people yeilds Grand Prize Winner
By Kat Dutton, Writer Extrodinaire

  Last Week's Question       Next Week's Question

This Week's Question          View the Archives       Keith Baker Home