Question of the Week 2/6/04:

Things are looking rocky for Howard Dean. He needs a victory, and his radical "scream at the voters" approach didn't pay off. So we want to know:

WHAT'S HOWARD DEAN GOING TO DO NEXT?
 

He's just gonna stand there pretending to be shocked. It's what Justin
Timberlake will do that's shocking.

Well, Viagra's taken...

He'll be putting his left foot in his mouth, taking his left foot out, turning it around and shaking it all about.

Replace himself, soap opera style, with someone with a little more charisma. "The part of Howard Dean will now be played by Joel Grey."

He's going to return to his first love: Karaoke.

Explain that he's just been preparing for his upcoming performance in the Broadway production of "Old Yeller".

Marry Kerry!

He's going to lose in Wisconsin, then he's going to go home to Vermont, then he might take a ski vacation in COLORADO, and visit his sister in IDAHO, then think about retiring in FLORIDA, or MAYBE *ARIZONA*, OR POSSIBLY **NEW MEXICO**!  YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAGH!

Become the star of myraid amateur DJ recordings. No, wait, he already has!

Say "I didn't WANT your stupid votes," go home, work out, come back at four in the morning, and burn the place DOWN.

Join a university... he's always wanted to be Dean Dean.

Despite repeated warnings to the contrary, Dean's going to push the "wed one"!

Change his first name to Jimmy. That'll get some votes. Who can resist the fresh taste of Jimmy Dean?

Vote for Ralph Nader.

Take over as the new dad on "Eight Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter".

I hear there's an opening in the center square.

He could try to fill the "pancake on the head" gap left by Oolong's passing.

Lobbies to join The Apprentice 2, but Trump fires him in the first episode.

He's going to Disneyworld! It seems there's been another malaria outbreak, and doctors are in demand...

Become veep and then set up a little time on the grassy knoll.

Get sass-talkin' tips from Al Sharpton.

Back to his internist practice, where he will be operating on stomach ulcers, and kidneys, and AORTAS, and GALL BLADDERS, AND *SPLEENS*, AND **DUODENA**!!  YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAGH!

Run away with Oolong's successor.

Uses that amazing internet savvy to find the ultimate niche porn.  No, no one knows what's going on in those pictures--it's that niche!

Taking his cue from our current Commander in Chief he refocuses his campaign
with one word: Strategery!

Learn Spanish, only to find it utterly useless in white-bread Vermont.

Teach Walt Whitman, with demonstrations.

Learn to pronounce Kunicich.

Conceding live on the Ed Sullivan show!

Ask the voters: "Whose face would you rather look at for four years?  Mine? Or John Kerry's?"

Tell Al Gore to stop endorsing him already, he's only making things worse.

Finally start that Deluded and Psychotic Party he's been talking about all these years.

The Safety Dance!

Cry.

The Macarena!

Plate of shrimp


*And summing it all up…*

Um, besides lose? Huh. No idea.
 

  Last Week's Question       Next Week's Question

This Week's Question          View the Archives       Keith Baker Home