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Question of the Week 3/3/04:
WHAT WILL HAPPEN ON ELLEN & KEITH'S TRIP TO HAWAII?
Nothing
interesting, just a knife fight, a car chase ending in a hundred car pile
up, finding the holy grail, and Bossy viciously assaulting George W. Bush.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Hawaii will be purchased by Idaho in a hostile takeover, after which each island's name will be combined with Idaho to make Kauaidaho, Idamahuio, Molokaidaho, Oahidahuo, and Hidawahiio. The inevitable rush to buy Hawaiian souvenirs at the airport before coming home - Ellen will be the only girl on her block with a T-shirt announcing her as a "POI TOY". If Don Ho doesn't show up at least once while you're being chased by gangsters for picking up the wrong suitcase at the airport, well... then you ain't worth sitcom spit. They'll start pronouncing all the letters in a word, for example, "Baseline" becomes "bass - eh - leen - eay" Quantum physics suggests that we can know what will happen or the outcome, and popular sitcoms suggest that the outcome from any trip to Hawaii is wacky hijinks, we cannot predict what will happen until after the wacky hijinks have ensued. Q.E.D. I imagine *someone* will water ski over a shark. They'll be possessed by an overwhelming urge to buy extravagant presents for everyone they know. Thanks for the 40 lbs of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts, by the way... Turns out, in Hawaii, the Bakers are well-known celebrities. The mobs of adoring fans nearly kill them. The sordid truth is finally revealed when both of you are sacrificed as virgins to Pele. (Keith to the god; Ellen to the soccer player.....) While wind-spelunking on Molokai, Keith & Ellen will discover a huge backlog of Joe's QOTW! entries. That depends..... Are you going together? Nudge nudge wink wink Beware! Reports of the death of Wo Fat have been greatly exaggerated. Keith will start a bar brawl once he knocks the battery off the shoulder of aging private eye Tommy Lopaka. *And with a possible answer to this week's question, the inimitable Joe Zemek...* To save Hawaii, Keith & Ellen must sacrifice the QOTW! to an angry Pele. Hey, admit it: *you* didn't think it was coming back, either.
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