Question of the Week 04/08/03:

4/8/03:  This week's question!

We've been keeping pace with current events, but now it's time to look ahead a bit. We want to know:

WHAT DO WE HAVE PLANNED FOR POST-WAR IRAQ?


We're secretly replacing the fine oil usually served in this country with Folger's Crystals.

Corporate interests rename Iraq - now to be called Blood, Ba'ath and Beyond!

Can't talk - invading Syria.

William Shatner assumes control of the interim government, reprising his role as Captain Kirkuk.

We'll just keep doing the same thing we do every night - try to take over the world.

We're gonna put on a show! Tony has some old uniforms, and W. says his Dad will do a victory dance in front of Allah and everybody.

Look, don't say that we'll be "installing" a new regime.  These days, we
prefer to say "embedding."

"President Bush, you've just toppled a ruthless dictator and crushed a nation's infrastructure. What are you going to do now?" 
"I'm going to Disneyland!"

If they don't keep on the Sunni side of life, it's all going to Shiite.

Hard Iraq Cafe.

The State Department apologizes, revealing that they thought "Nasiriya" was "North Korea."

Give it as the grand prize in "Who Wants to be a Sadistic, Murdering Dictator?"

A lovely copy of our home game, plus a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat!

Opening a new themepark: The Quagmire!  Where all your worst nightmares and
most irrational fears instantly become real!  Your best planning goes awry!
Enemies materialize out of thin air!  Every hour passes with all the horrors
of a year in Vietnam (c. 1967)!

EverIraq: A land of adventure and progression as you wait impatiently for the Republican Guard to spawn so you can get SCUD Boots.

Presidential Palaceland!  The totalitarianest place on earth!  Ride the thrilling oil slides!  Get your picture taken with Uday the Iraqi Weasel and his friends!

Iraq v. 30.0

DisneyRaq!   "It's a bigger world than we've been led to believe after all, it's a..."

Take all our valiant American and British human shields out for a celebratory drink!  They've been waiting a whole three weeks to get TOTALLY BOMBED!

A blood-red tag sale naturally... "Everything's half off! From the price of oil to Saddam's head. Don't wait! Come down now and Bag your own Dad! But hurry! Don't be the last one on your bloc to rock the Cradle of Civilization!"

I'm fairly certain that the goal all along has been to sell it as a sequel to "Babylon Five."

Give it to Bill Gates.  Maybe that'll shut him up.

US government still debating whether to rename the Cradle of Civilization "Strollerland" or "Allah's Playpen".

Jerry Bruckheimer to helm epic new version of Thief of Baghdad. Geo. W. Bush to star. Colon Powell as Sabu!

MAJOR NASCAR RACING TRACK...with all the fuel we need right there!

A new, liberated Iraq!  Now with 100% less genital electrocution!

Fertile Crescent Disney!

A glorious fun filled playground where children of all ages can have the time of their lives exploring and experiencing all there is to enjoy including  thrilling rides in a safe supportive atmosphere, with their tour guide 'uncle' Michael Jackson.

It's going to be the new Fox reality show Who Wants to Rebuild a Country?

A big skating rink, wait we didn't use nukes so the place was'nt turned into glass, oh well forget it...

Ever hear of a "hot chicks room"?  Well, just wait til you see what we're
doing with Iraq!

What?  A poster of WHOSE rack?  Oh.  Nevermind, then.

Club Baghdad, swinging singles welcome

Planned? What are you, kidding me? We need no plans! Planning is for the weak and Democratic...

Please, Governor!  Open the Kiddie Jails and let them free!
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=1514&e=4&u=/afp/20030408/wl_mideast_afp/iraq_war_marines_prison_030408163048

It's going to be the United States of Iraq

Disney's BABYLON!

Turn the presidential palaces into universities. Them's some pretty buildings, you know, except for the rubble.

Introduce the concept of protesting without getting killed and watch the confusion.

"Plan??   There ain't no plan!"

Name changed to Zangspur, since Broomfield's apparently never gettin' off their collective ass.

Pudding cups for all!

Introduce the concept of the bikini car wash.

Will be married to Iran by America.

*And from Naomi…*
First things first. Bikini car/tank washes all around! Then, Madonna comes out with new line of burqae, with the underwear on the outside. Then, all the local wildlife (if there is such a thing in Iraq) are taught to wear pancakes on their heads. What's that Little Timmy? Someone squashed your pudding cup?!

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