Question of the Week 04/9/04

Question of the Week 4/9/04:

I must apologize for the long absence of the Question of the Week. I wish I could explain it, but I'm afraid that the reasons are highly classified. To make matters worse, many of the excellent answers to the last QOW were lost in the vortex of AOL. But now we have a chance to begin again (we're outsourcing to the offworld colonies), and this time we're going to keep things on track. So, to get things started, let's see if you can unravel this mystery:

I don't see why there's all this focus on finding an actual QOTW. March was clearly involved in QOTW related program activities.

Stupid Ides. Stupid oracle.

It was outsourced to April.

Cursed Tiki Idols… Server problems… need I say more?

There was a scheduling snafu due to the 13-month calendars the school printed. The missing questions will be delivered next Smarch.

The Question of the Week was trapped in an elevator for a month with an escaped convict and a pregnant woman. Luckily, they all learned a valuable lesson and grew as individuals, and young Philimina Question Of The Week Jimenez is doing just fine.

The QoW didn't stop... Keith just didn't want to send it to YOU for a month. Next time, be funnier.

I gave up questions for Lent. You got a problem with tha---Oh, crap! Confession AGAIN!

After its poor showing in February Sweeps, UPN decided to replace the QOW with the new smash comedy "Game Over".

It had a tough season and washed out in the first round of the conference tournament.

It couldn't find a job and starved to death.

She needed to go to Texas on top secret bovine business. We are talking about Bossy the QOW, right?

The Question of the Week couldn't bear to be seen in public after its humiliating break-up with J-Lo. Frankly, I'm not sure it'll be able to pick up the pieces.

It was off at a USO show in Iraq, entertaining our troops in the field!

Constipation?

Spam filters. It's spam filters. They know about the QoW, and they shut Keith down. The government uses spam filters.

It was stuck in the vending machine 'till Grady pushed it so hard it fell over an' tha police show'd up'n Fred was havin' tha big one.

If you look closely, I think you'll see drops of Jupiter in the QOTW!'s hair, yeah yea-a-a-haayy...

The QOTW! just needed some time to think. So, it flew off with the help of its recently pilfered fan-glider, the owner of which giving futile chase and shaking an ultimately impotent fist, as Streisand's "People" inexplicably and from nowhere began to play.

The Menehune ate it.

It was declared the sole WMD found in Iraq and Donnie Rumsfeld had it sealed in a block of borated concrete and sunk it to the bottom of the Marinara Trench.

I guess it went on vacation, too.

It was hiding so that a "kinder, gentler" question might be asked.

It was taken into custody by the Gestap---uh---Homeland Security.

After years of successfully rooting out the answers to life's great mysteries, QoW sages answered all that there was to be answered.

* And leading into this week's question…*

It was shooting a guest spot on "Sex in the City: The Next Generation."