Question of the Week 07/06/04

OK, honestly we will get back on a weekly schedule soon enough -- the release of the exciting new Eberron setting for D&D has thrown us offstride. But it's time to fall back off the horse. Or something.

By now, most people have seen Saddam Hussein's appearance in court. a long legal proceeding lies ahead. So we want to know:

WHAT WILL BE THE BIG SURPRISE IN THE TRIAL OF SADDAM HUSSEIN?

"If the weapons aren't there… the US doesn't care."

He's the first man to be convicted of "Saddamy".

At height of trial, "Saddam" reveals that he's actually a construction worker from New Jersey who makes $19,000 a year.

Damning testimony from long-standing houseguest, Slobodan Milosevic.

Saddam convicted on three counts of Less Filling, not convicted on two counts of Tastes Great.

Yeah, the chemical weapons and the brutal genocide were bad, but it's the romance novel that'll get him the capital sentence.

When Kuwait takes the witness stand, watch out. Cause, uh... it's not really a big enough witness stand.

Loves American TV, especially the interrogations at Abu Ghraib. He says they make him feel right like he's back at home.

When acquitted, Saddam vows to "hunt down the real genocidal dictator who committed those atrocities," then hits a powerful fading drive off the first tee to put himself in prime position for a 6-iron to the green.

Won "Iraqi Idol" with a plaintive rendition of "Wind Beneath my Wings". Losers families slain.

Best. Iraqi. Beheading. EVAR!

Tonight's mystery ingredient is… Anthrax!

Iraq wasn't really haunted, it was old man Saddam the whole time!

Really a LMD*
*That's Life Model Decoy True believers- he's really a robot!

Saddam complains bitterly about the "Most Wanted" deck of cards: "Look at me! Clearly I am the King of Hearts!"

8 Months pregnant with W's love child and cannot be executed!

Got all his old WMDs from the USA! No, really!

Saddam elects to take the PHYSICAL CHALLENGE!

Where are they going to find twelve Iraqis who have never heard of Saddam Hussein?

That nice Senator Palpatine fellow acts as a character witness.

It was a shadowy conspiracy of ruthless men hidden in the very heart of our government!

Saddam does an excellent Colonel Sanders impression.

Saddam killed some people... Bush killed some people... Come on! Can't we just call it even? Okay, then... Can't we just call it a mere 2000-to-1 ratio?

It's slimier than I expected. What? Oh. I thought you said TRAIL of Saddam. You do know he's a Repton infiltrator, right?

All the shoe endorsements he receives.

Jacques Chirac's stunning and moving testimony of one liberal democrat's impossible love for a totalitarian madman.

Frankly, I'm already surprised. Did you know he committed, like, GENOCIDE? The media were so busy telling me Bush lied that I somehow missed that part...

Oolong in a frock, declaring her mad love for the dictator. With pancakes.

One by one, witnesses for the defense detonate themselves on the witness stand.

That he is found innocent in a criminal trial, but sentenced to death in a civil trial.

Rock Paper SADDAM!
http://www.bigmixup.com/rockpapersaddam/

"The beret doesn't fit! It's not him! He didn't do it! The beret doesn't fit!"

He wants John Kerry to win. Wait a minute... That's not a surprise.

Gerhardt Schroeder's stunning and moving testimony of one liberal democrat's impossible love for a totalitarian madman.

Jay Leno brings back the Dancing Itos.

Michael Moore testifies for the defense. Wait, no, that's not a surprise either.

Hussein summons Donald Rumsfeld as a character witness.

No matter that the old backdoor Skull and Bones crowd persists on calling him Sodom, name actually pronounced "Sad Am".

Squashed little Timmy Miller's pudding cup in 1984 and again in 1992.

During a beach party at Bandar's house in Dubai in 1977, Saddam once kicked sand in young GW Bush's face.

Superfluous third nipple.

The prosecution's case hinges on some yellowcake from Nigeria.

W grows an even bigger and uglier beard to show he's still more manly than Saddam.

Desparate for publicity, Vanilla Ice becomes the head of the defense team! Humpty Hump sits second chair.

The hung jury, swaying in the breeze. Dude, that's harsh.

Opus in a frock, declaring Saddam's innocence.

The fact that Saddam thinks he's still president, and that his "executions" via shredder are above reproach. No, wait, that's not surprising; the man's sociopathic.

"It's all a frameup by one of my doubles!" In stereo.

Saddam's 1337 5KI11Z at America's Army and Counterstrike.

"But... but they TOLD me I had WMDs!"

The Hokey Pokey!

"Anybody up for a game of cards?"

Surprise witness -- Dick Cheney in drag.

Without any Iraqi body of law or constitution, Saddam is still found guilty of something.

Chirac and Schroeder's post-trial cat-fight to see who gets to give Saddam his farewell kiss.

The Fab Five of "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" have been added to the defense team.

Now that he's been let go from the Nathan Lane fiasco of "Frogs", Chris Kattan can make that TV movie about Saddam for Lifetime: Television For Women......

*And vying for the most obscure reference...*
Well, Chewbacca DID live on Endor..... HEY, WAIT A SECOND!!

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