Question of the Week 09/26/03:

True story: our alert sources received the following image in a spam email from a pornographic web site.

Pay special attention to the lower right corner. Apparently Oolong isn't dead at all -- she faked her death to start a new career in cross-species pornography. So we want to know:

WHAT *ELSE* HAS OOLONG BEEN DOING SINCE HER "DEATH"?

Working on her autobiography, "What Oolong Strange Trip It's Been."

Isn't she the "Queen of Hearts" on the "Iraq's Most Wanted" card deck?

Working with J.Lo on a remake of "Fatal Attraction". Oolong plays the Glenn Close role; J.Lo plays the rabbit.

IHOP commercials. She does, in fact, hop - and darned if that pancake doesn't stay on the whole time...

See, people THOUGHT she was dead, but now it's two years later and she's suddenly back, but with no memories. Oh, wait, that's the plot of last week's "Alias".

She's in the Witness Protection program, with the intriguing new name "Earl Gray"

All I'm saying is that there's a reason they call her the "Tricks Rabbit".

Reported back to General Woundwort.

Working on a top-secret "government project" devoted to "finding out" why "people" use "quotation marks" for emphasis. 

Rewriting the Book of Love.

Trying shampoo after shampoo to get the syrup out.

What? You mean Oolong DIDN'T die and absolve all my sins? Does this mean that I have to return that $1,500?

Working for Cirque du Soleil.

Waffling.

Saving the Family Circus.

What do you mean, she's not dead? LOOK AT THE BONES!

By the looks of the image, one of Bossy's stunt doubles.

She had to fake her death in order to join the shadowy conspiracy of ruthless bunnies hidden at the very heart of our government.

Her manager only let her balance pancakes; she faked her death so that she could explore her true desire - balancing waffles.

Living the high life on Watership Down.

Balancing the California budget. I didn't say she was good at it...

Trying to grow some nasty, pointy teeth.

Word is she's just spending the year dead for tax purposes.

J Lo.

I heard she's trying to combat starvation in France. I mean, she's under a "let them eat cake" pancake platform, right?

Trying to be nominated as the new prime minister of Palestine.  When that didn't work, she went to the barnyard porn - after trying to be Palestinian prime minister you just don't keep a lot of pride or self-respect.

Isn't Oolong the Secret Service's codename for VP Cheney? Could they be one and the same?

Please, do tell.  I'd like to try it myself.

Sleeping on all 200 couches they've got.

Waitaminute... didn't we have rabbit stew last week?

Hooking up with Ben Affleck, and causing a rift in the Bennifer relationship.

Secret agent spy Oolong has been involved in discovering the whereabouts of notorious figures such as Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden. Don't try to
track her down again!

She's been tracking down Anya.

She's with Bert on those signs supporting Osama.

Looking for Ashton Krutcher's pants.

No brainer. Running for Governor in California.

George W Bush

She's been balancing Iraqi weapons of mass destruction on her head.

(Using your best Monster Truck Rally Announcer's voice) ON VIDEO NOW! TWO HOURS OF STRAIGHT OOLONG SHOTS!

She's been hanging out with Elvis balancing fried banana sandwiches on her head.


* And cutting to the heart of the matter… *

I have no time for Oolong, I just saw previews for next weeks Star Trek: Enterprise and there are finally space whores. SPACE WHORES!!!

 

  Last Week's Question       Next Week's Question

This Week's Question          View the Archives       Keith Baker Home