Question of the Week 11/29/03:

The biggest news this week has to be President Bush's secret trip to Iraq -- a trip so secret that even the press were hoodwinked. Needless to say, we at the QotW are embarrassed to have been caught unprepared by this cunning scheme. But the question must be asked: If George can hide a trip to Iraq from both the Media and the Secret Service,

WHAT DON'T WE KNOW ABOUT GEORGE W. BUSH?
 

Could make these huge-ass pyramids out of beer cans. Even when he was high. I mean really tall ones. You'd look out of the frat house, and there'd be W. just stacking and stacking. He was awesome man. Just awesome.

That whole "vapid millionaire playboy" thing is just a front. He's really Batman!

Did it in the Billiard Room with the Rope and Mrs Peacock.

Every year, he rides around the world on his magical sleigh and brings tax cuts to all the good little rich boys.

Sure am glad this QOTW! was not hijacked and morphed into, "WHAT DON'T WE KNOW ABOUT GEORGE W. BUSH... IN BED?"

Let's just put it this way: Have you ever seen Michael Jackson and George W. Bush in the same place at the same time?

In his Texas Rangers ownership days, onced wished to acquire Barry Bonds by trading Chuck Norris.  Oopsie!

"Even the lead singer of Motley Crue, and George W. Bush, have a little Dylan in 'em."

We don't know why he's so interested in Ashton Kutcher's underwear.

He and Laura often use role-playing in their sex lives.  Surprisingly, his favorite scenario has him playing Falstaff to Laura's Mistress Quickly. Karl Rove participates as Bardolph.......

The real reason he wants to find Osama and Saddam is so he can cut off their heads and steal their Quickening.

College days could be explained as a desperate attempt to prove that he's actually scion of the BUSCH family.

Was crushed to discover that the Texas Air National Guard was not the Texas Heir National Guard.

When the world thought he was AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard, W. was really acting in his role as The Man from AWOL-saving us all from the evils of commie infiltrators, Nazis and third columnists. Or cheap booze and sex...

Don't you see??  It was all a ruse!  George Bush is IN LEAGUE WITH THE PRETZELS!  Put down the Rold Golds while you still can!  The executive order is coming from INSIDE THE PANTRY!

He was ACTUALLY in Japan to see Oolong's replacement Yeubing!   http://www.h6.dion.ne.jp/~yuebing/

He's holding out for the chick from Alias.

Always liked that little guy on Fantasy Island. That "Hey boss, de plane, de plane." guy.
Wanted him for Vice President...

Laura's troubled by his "preemption" problem in the bedroom.

The purity of emotion in 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' brings a tear to his eye every time he hears it. 

The "W" stands for "Wiseacre."

That's not George W. Bush.  It's actually a can of Pepsi Twist.

Once declared the "Victorious End of High School" and taunted his former teachers to "Bring it on".
He was a freshman at the time...

Used to yell "NI!" when Saddam was on TV.

That was an automaton that made the appearance at the Baghdad Airport while the real George W. Bush partied with his daughters' underage college buddies.

Once turned down a blind date with a really hot chick 'cause like- he totally didn't want a chick who couldn't see.

Always felt that he would be an asset to the A-Team as he outranked Mr. T. By 3 whole letters.

Later this month, it will be revealed that George W. Bush is actually Santa Claus.

Due to a freak accident with a time machine in a dark Texas barn, his mother
is also his grandmother.  Okay, so this isn't much of a surprise.

He thought the supposed Year of the Matrix was a total cinematic letdown.  'Course, could've guessed that...

Like Michael Jackson at Neverland, he has a secret room leading from his closet at the Crawford Ranch.  But he lures innocent young Democrats into there and subjugates them to the Republican way.

Bush was responsible for the explosion at Yale University this past year.  Someone finally triggered the device he left there over thirty years ago when he was the leading Prankster for the Skull and Bones Society.

His main inspiration for the Presidency has been the role of Hoover in the movie 'Animal House'.

All pertinent data about him has been tattooed in a bar code at the base of his neck.

Uh, his mother dresses him funny?

He never wanted to be President of the United States....  he always wanted to be...  A LUMBERJACK!

Planning to drop by Pyongyang for Christmas.

His tattoo of Ernest Borgnine glows in the dark. In the dark!

The W. stands for Wanda.

Can spell several words!

Superfluous third nipple.

Was originally considered for both leads in  "Dumb and Dumber", but was not a fit for the film.
The producers swear they'll call him in for "Dumbest and Greediest"...

Once quoted Shakespeare. You know, that one about the monkey's flying out of Macbeth's butt...

Spent the years from 5-8 trying desperately to reconcile these two conflicting notions:
Being dumb meant that a person couldn't speak.
He was dumb.

Once earned an A.  Y'know, instead of buying it.

There's actually only one George Bush. Any other apparent Bushes are the result of smoke and mirrors.

Actually, the question is what DO we know about George W. Bush. I mean, was HE on the grassy knoll?

Hiding a trip? I'd like to see him hide the Statue of Liberty for his next trick!

He never tells his mother anything.

Is planning to secretly replace Folger's Crystals with Texas Crude.

Well, I've tried and tried to see where Karl Rove's hands fit, but... ?

In addition to Tony Blair, "W" is also a close golfing buddy with a certain egomaniacal British marketing executive known to have frequented Boulder for a time.

*And with a countering editorial view…*

Why question or second guess him, we are no privy to all his information,  Easy to ask questions with out details that are none of our business.
 

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