BAKER'S DOZEN--6/30/05

WHAT WAS THE MOST DRAMATIC MOMENT AT THE 2004 ORIGINS AWARDS?

The lack of any award to the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern RPG was a huge part of the buzz around the event.  I mean, all conflicts are resolved through either a game of questions or a series of coin flips, and in the end everyone dies regardless.  How much more simple and elegant can you get?

"Bunnies and Burroughs" apparently NOT a game about the naked bazooms of Barsoomian women. Very sad about this one. Want my money back.

I couldn't believe it when Jack Palance made that Strength check on stage! Damn, he's in good shape!

When Mark Felt revealed that he was the REAL designer behind Top Secret.

I know it's a good game and one of the first RPGs derived from African mythology, but MAN, they had to drag Halle Berry off the stage after Nyambe won.

I think it's no surprise that the "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" Unisystem game won best RPG. I mean, why did it take 30 years for someone to come up with edible dice?

When Perry Mason wrung that surprise confession out of Gary Gygax in the last moments of the ceremony.

I'm shocked that "Intelligent Design" was even admitted into the "Origins" category!  I really thought that "Evolution" had it sewn up...

William Shatner's moving speech. "Have you ever KISSED a girl? For God's sake, put down the dice and DO something with your life!"

Apparently Karl Rove leaked the winner's names in a fit of pique. And he would've got away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids!

All the d10 Rokugani fans squaring off against the d20 OA fans, shouting out "Roll and Keep!" against "Nat 20! Nat 20!" as they brandished their Clan banners.  Both sides committed ritual seppuku after Peter Adkinson came out and demanded they cease this abuse of his hospitality and atone for their dishonor.
It was all quite moving.

"My Pretty Pony" fighting "Kim Possible" to the death in the "Games that Girls Might Possibly Play" category.

Bossy the Cow's win for best simulation - apparently it really IS her world and we are but figments of her bovine imagination. Either that or she bribed the judges. I only wish I could tell for sure...

When the ghost of Dostoevsky showed up and tore Keith apart for plagiarizing the title of "Crime & Punishment."

Frankly, I think the host could have used a few more ranks in Diplomacy…

No one surprised when Hasbro took "Owner of All Words That Make Up Game Titles"  for the billionth year in a row. Hell, they even own such ridiculous nonsense words as "Eberron", "Khorvaire" and "Khyber" as well as the ever-popular "Dragondice".

The open-mouthed kiss between Gary Gygax and Monte Cook was as shocking as it was inappropriate.  I mean, sure, it represents a sort of passing of the torch from the older generation to the younger, and it shows they are comfortable with their sexuality, but who wanted to look at that?  I'm still pouring bleach over my eyes to erase the image.
 

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