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The Home of Writer and Game Designer Keith Baker
 

 

Text: Keith Baker        Tech: Ellen "Honeycakes" Baker     Art: Lee Moyer

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BAKER'S DOZEN

Here at Bossy the Cow, we're not afraid to ask the tough questions.  Questions like:

 

WHAT'S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE IN FOURTH EDITION DUNGEONS & DRAGONS? 

 

1.

All the product placement. "Haste" spell changed to "Do the Dew™".
 

2.

Now 80% Dungeons, 20% Dragons

 

3. Chinese gold farmers can get you to 20th level in 6 days!
 
4.

Iron rations are made out of PEOPLE!
 

5.

Revolutionary new THAC1 system! (It's one higher, isn't it?)

 

6.

Traditional elves replaced by Keebler elves. Drizzt now a renegade fudge elf who wields twin graham crackers.
 

7.

Twenty-part adventure path requires heroes to "Save the Cheerleader… save the Realms."
 

8.

New version actually DOES drive kids to Satan.

 
9. New system actually based on popular "Dumb & Dumber" franchise.
 
10. How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 1d8+2. And a crunch.
 
11.

Combat system abandons primitive dice in favor of cool "Wii"-mote.

 

12.

Iconic characters from PHB replaced by the PCs from Order of the Stick
 

13.

And of course…

 

Don't you mean "KEITH BAKER'S D&D 4th Edition"?

 


 

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