Question of the Week 11/06/02:

Well, the elections are over, and the GOP holds both the White House and Congress. Are we finally free from negative ads? Is terrorism caused by "Hopelessness" or "Evilness"? We want to know:

THE 2002 ELECTIONS ARE OVER... WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

Backed by the House and the Senate, Bush is empowered to replace Sir Richard Harris in the Harry Potter movies.

We get a month or two of relief before all the negative ads for the 2004 campaign start up.

Freed from distraction, we can finally focus our attention on important issues - like whether the crisp, refreshing taste of Vanilla Coke is superior to the berry-blasted flavor of Blue Pepsi.

What? The Republicans have seized control of Congress? Well, I'm sure James Bond will put a stop to their nefarious schemes soon enough.

I thank God in heaven that all those judges were retained.  That was close.

You know, with Viagra you can have them more often. What? Oh.

Well, just because November 5th turned into a political funeral for the Democratic leadership shouldn't stop them from turning it into a partisan political rally.

I copied down the phone numbers of all the candidates which were found in their opponents' TV commercials.  And I plan to call the winners often as they attempt to steer the course of this nation during their term in office.  I will let them know I plan to keep track of their voting records in Congress.  I will show my support when they do something that makes me proud to be an American.  I will not hesitate to harangue them when they do something wrong.
But mostly I'll be calling them up just to order a pizza.

Bush finally gets complete authority to declare war on the Axis of Pretzels.

The official decision to run the next presidential election in the format of "American Idol." The babelicious vice-president will be selected a la "The Bachelor."

The Great Lakes are on fire - even I know that's a bad thing.

I just don't understand it. I thought a Libertarian victory was a sure thing!

Well, someone should tell the President to stop walking around the Capitol making an "L" sign on his forehead.

Me, I'm drinking my expensive celebratory champagne in my covert underground monitoring facility.  Of course, I'm Dick Cheney.

An Inaugural Wet T-Shirt Contest

Well, first I'll get that tax cut made permanent, then I'll wrangle the energy bill through Senate, then I'll rally the whole darn country round war with Iraq and fund it by dismantling the EPA.  Of course, I'm Satan.

The 2004 Elections.

Maybe Matthew Broderick and Reese Witherspoon can finally learn to get along.

Call Keith Baker.  Tell him questions like this are TOO EXTREME for Colorado.

I hear the Democrats are, as we speak, lobbying Fidel Castro to be their next presidential candidate.

We finally discover how that whole Planet of the Apes thing comes to pass.

I have this horrible image of Wayne Allard doing the Funky Chicken in
celebration.  Please, God, make it stop.

Call Majority Leader Tom Daschle.  Tell him you hope he was wearing a few extra pairs of underwear last week.

"Ha ha ha.  HA HA ha ha.  MUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  A-***HA HA HA HA HA HA  HA!!!!!!!!***"--Coming to a black circle beneath a statehouse near you.

It seems like the first sign of mad lemming disease, and the lower-income 90% of us will be marching left and right into our respective oceans.

It's okay, honey.  It happens to every guy at one time or another...  What? Oh.   You said ELECTION!  Nevermind.

Sorry, Timmy.  The government needs your pudding cup for the war effort.  Here's some cabbage and beans.

President Bartlett continues his struggle with MS, and works to have the 22nd Amendment repealed so that he can be president for a third term.

What future historians will nostalgically refer to as "Tommy Daschle and the Order of the Filibusters."

Everybody gets an ostrich. First you raise the ostrich, and then you eat the ostrich. Uh, the goal is to kill all the ostriches, right?

Iraq complies with UN resolution to avoid war.

Only 5 months until Book 5 comes out.

It's Miller time!

*And to end on a cheery note, some words of wisdom from Adam…*

THIS ISN"T FUCKING WORKING. Voting.

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